Cut Your Losses.

You would think a "break-up" would be easy. A very simple "I'm no longer interested" or "I've fallen out of love with you" would suffice, but I suppose it's in our human nature to coat those words with some euphemistic sugar. Why, after establishing a clear disinterest and most likely bashing them to friends and family, do we feel it necessary to all of a sudden be nice or considerate of their feelings?

I pondered this little conundrum after having to let my latest big, dumb animal go after meeting a much more suitable boy. Things were not going well anyway. We went to a Cardinals game and hardly spoke five sentences to one another, so he really should have seen this coming. It always gets awkward, though. I mean, God forbid that I actually just straight up tell the poor galoot that I met someone else. Instead, I felt much more comfortable just ignoring the text messages that kept invading my inbox. Then, in lieu of the cold shoulder, I thought I might try the "I'm so busy; school is so rough" excuse. Alas, his efforts were not thwarted. He continued to bombard me with texts reading "you're doing a great job of ignoring me," "has school gotten any better?" and "what have I done to piss you off?" I guess I should have felt bad, but being the heartless wench I become when I'm finished with a relationship, the texts just pissed me off more. Honestly, was he just not getting it?? So then, five ignored calls and three angry texts later, I decided to be blunt.

The last text I had received said, "why are you pissed off at me?" I responded that I wasn't pissed, I just didn't get the impression that the relationship going anywhere. He sent back another text asking what gave me that impression. So I let loose on him. The text went something like this, "I never met any of your friends, you were never up for going out, and despite me telling you my opinion on booty calls, you really only called when you wanted me to come over after 10 p.m. " Done.
As soon as I thought I was free, I get back a very business-like "Please know that all of your concerns could have been addressed had you talked to me about them."

That was the last straw. I went shitangy.

And then I erased that text and wrote this, "I had addressed all of those concerns on multiple occassions, and then I waited to see if you would change anything. You didn't."

Here's the kicker. After all this impersonal, back-and-forth bologna, he wrote back the cheesiest thing ever. "I must have missed those conversations. It was a pleasure getting to know you. Godspeed, Ms. Slater."

Blech!! Give me a break! Godspeed?? Who is this tool? Good riddance!

And then the realization set in that I had left a few things over at his place...a serving dish, roasting pan, and a DVD. Hmm...so that's what it means to cut your losses and move on.

Meh...I didn't like that movie anyway.